I can only write from the grief I know. Yours might look nothing like mine, and that's okay. Nothing here is intended to prescribe how to mourn; think of these letters as one person's perspective, offered in the hope that something resonates. And if it doesn't, that's okay, too. There's room for your version of grief here.
Read through these to answer your questions. Plus, I treated this a bit like a journal entry so you'll get a preview of my voice and see into my goals and nerves (!!!) as the author and creator of The Good Mourning Post. xo
Why did you start this?
I wish there were more places where we could walk into a room, say "I'm grieving," and know that everyone else gets it.
I’ve never been to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (or have I?) but I know the model is consistent from one gathering to another. I created this because at every turn in my grieving journey, I’ve wished there was an open door gym or church basement rec-room to walk into and talk about losing my mom. I’ve been looking for “AA for Grief” and decided that this mail club is one way I can at least create some sense of belonging for others wondering the same.
After losing my mom, I found myself craving validation in my profound emotions with people who understood what it means to carry loss into everyday life. I've also always used creativity as a way to process things and bring people together. The Good Mourning Post is where those two things meet.
And another thing... grief is so abstract. It's all around me and no where at all... it's right in my face and yet I can't grasp it. The Good Mourning Post is intended to bring some tangible pieces to you in your grieving process which is otherwise, intangible.
Also, I've got a semi-hot approach to this: My goal is 6 total mailings with this project. I'm giving myself permission to close up shop after that if I feel the need to. Why? To protect my own grief experience, to challenge myself with at least six mailings, and to make sure I'm staying steady on course.
What's the significance of the $18 cost?
In Judaism, the number 18 represents chai, the Hebrew word for "life." It's a number associated with giving, good fortune, and celebrating life. That symbolism feels especially meaningful for something built around grief, because even in the midst of loss, there's still so much life to be lived.
Each mailer costs $18, and 18% of profits from The Good Mourning Post will be donated to Susan G. Komen in honor of my mom, Genevieve, who died from breast cancer. A little bit of life, a little bit of love, and a little bit of giving back.
Each post includes:
- 5 pieces of art, mail, stickers, paper goods, keepsakes, or other small surprises
- A new theme or perspective on living with loss
- A thoughtful mix of sincerity, comfort, humor, and wit
- Mail designed to help put words to some of the things grief makes difficult to explain
Why does the mail club arrive every two months instead of monthly?
A couple of reasons, actually.
First, I'm creating this from a very personal place and crafting this with my own two hands. Grief has fueled a lot of my creativity (which I’m weirdly grateful for?) but it also means I need to give myself room to create on a loose, forgiving timeline. I need to be able to take the occasional break to breakdown (IYKYK) and making this happen every two months feels like a cadence I can keep up with while allowing myself to slow down and not commercialize my grief.
Second, I don't know that everyone needs a monthly reminder of their grief showing up in the mailbox. Every other month feels like a gentle rhythm: frequent enough to feel connected, but spacious enough to let life happen in between. Also, if you’re like me, nothing ‘triggers’ your grief. Someone or something can’t make you remember your person because you’re never NOT aware of the person you miss the most.
The mail club itself doesn't operate on a schedule, though. Members who join our WhatsApp group have an ongoing space to connect, share, listen, or just exist alongside people who understand.
Are you a grief expert?
I think about this question a lot, actually, because there's a part of me that wants to put an asterisk after almost everything I write to caveat or provide a disclaimer:
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But this is just how I feel!!!!
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My experiences are my own and yours are your own and both are valid!!!!!!!!!!!
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If you don’t agree, that’s okay I’m just sharing my POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (they're my opinions!)
There would be an asterisk after every thought shared and frankly it’s giving “no worries if not!” energy. So, as a challenge to myself, I’m saying and standing by this:
Am I a grief expert? Absofuckinglutely not. I'm just a new mom and former baby who misses her own mommy.
The truth is, I can only speak to my relationship with my mom and my experience of losing her. Even my sisters, who lost the very same person, carry a different version of that loss. I don't believe there's a right way to grieve, a universal timeline, or a set of words that will resonate with everyone. So please know that nothing I write is intended to tell you how to feel.
And while I'm treating this like my private diary, I'll also share that I'm a little nervous for how this may perceived. I've asked myself: "What if someone thinks I'm trying to make money off my mom's death? Am I poaching people's sadness for a brand? Am I monetizing on the inevitably tragic human experience?"
This is for me to work through but I know this to be true: My goal is to create a sense of belonging and the price tag associated with that is what will keep the community growing so more people know that grief is normal, fucked up, and really hard — but it's not lonely.
Can I give The Good Mourning Post to someone?
Short answer: Yes. Just be sure to leave a note at checkout that this is a gift and use the recipient's name and address when it’s time to add in shipping info. For this gift, I recommend selecting the “1 Year of TGMP” option so that your loved one can recieve your gift (6 mailings) but if it’s not a fit for them, there’s a natural end. And, they’ll be asked if they want to renew on their own after one year of mailers.
Long answer: Sometimes the hardest part of supporting someone who's grieving is not knowing what to say or do. The Good Mourning Post is intended to be a thoughtful way of saying, "I'm thinking about you, and I haven't forgotten what you're carrying."
What if my mailing doesn't arrive?
First, I'm sorry! There's a lot of love going into these envelopes, and I want yours to make it to you.
If your mailing hasn't arrived within the expected delivery window, please reach out using the contact information on the website. I'll help look into what happened and figure out the best next step.
Because these mailings are produced in small batches and sent through the postal service, occasional delays or lost envelopes may happen. But I'll do my best to make it right/curate a replacement.